Wedding Stationery Q&A

For my final pre-wedding Real Bride post, I’ve saved the best for last. You know it—wedding stationery! After designing our save-the-dates and seeing our names come together in print, it certainly made everything even more special. Personally speaking, creating and designing our wedding paper has been the most memorable part of the planning, although I might be a little biased, as this is what I do every day for other couples.

I have the best job!

There are a ton of questions when it comes to wedding stationery, and I want to take this opportunity to share some of my knowledge to help guide future brides through those tough etiquette and timeline questions. Here are a few common questions:

Q: When should we mail our wedding invitations?

A: A general rule is to send them out eight weeks before your big day. If it is a destination wedding, it should be around three months before.

Q: When should we set our RSVP deadline?

A: I recommend four weeks before the wedding. This allows time to follow-up with guests who haven’t responded before your final numbers are due.

Q: Can we include our registry information on our stationery?

A: This is an etiquette no-no. Including this information on your stationery suggests that you are asking for a gift, and that is considered in poor taste. The best way to communicate this information is through word-of-mouth and/or on a wedding website.

Q: Where do we include the wedding website?

A: They are most commonly seen on save-the-dates and can also go on an insert card within the wedding invitation suite. This will allow guests access to additional information like accommodations, weekend itinerary, things to do, transportation, etc.

Q: We are having an adults-only wedding. How can we communicate that clearly and kindly?

A: It is all about how you address your envelopes! The most traditional way to let guests know that children are not invited is by omitting their names on the mailing and/or inner envelopes. Another spot for this is on the wedding website. Bryan and I decided to have an adults-only wedding, and here is the wording we used on our website: “Make it a date night! We absolutely love your children, but would love even more for you to enjoy the evening and celebrate with us! Leave the littles.”

Q: How do we communicate attire?

A: A dress code for most weddings will usually be assumed as cocktail attire if not otherwise specified. If a wedding is black tie, that should be noted on the invitation suite. And, you guessed it, the wedding website is another great spot for this information, especially if you are having an outdoor wedding. You can go into more detail to inform ladies to wear flats or wedges as they might be walking on grass.

Because there are so many details in stationery, here are a few extra tips and friendly reminders:

Make sure to add postage to the reply envelopes.
To guarantee the envelope is sealed securely, use an adhesive wet sealant or a permanent glue stick. This will give you peace of mind that the invitation is arriving in pristine condition, and will save you from licking hundreds of envelopes.
Take a sample suite to the post office to be weighed. This will ensure you have the correct postage amount. Then mail the invitations from that same post office, since scale calibrations vary slightly from place to place.
Request that the invitations be hand-canceled when dropping them off at the post office. This prevents them from getting damaged by automated sorting machines.
Don’t forget to save a few invitation suites for keepsakes and one full suite for the photographer to shoot on the wedding day.

Designing my own wedding stationery was hard for me, as there are so many beautiful elements that can be brought into the suite. When I thought about who we are as a couple and the tone for our wedding, I kept going back to a very simple and elegant design. I wanted something very classic and timeless—something that I would pick up 10 years from now and still love!